The Beavers

I have told my children, if you want to see a model for parenting, look at the Beavers. I went to school with the father and loved the mother from the first time that I met her. Three of our four children have been really good friends for their whole lives, still are.

But, what I had observed in this very close and loving and achieving family is an attitude of total acceptance. I can recall several examples that were so extreme, I had to chuckle. One was when one of the girls had dyed her hair when a teenager and her mother said how cute she thought that it was. I cringed when my daughter put color on her naturally beautiful hair. Maybe Beaver Mother did also but it never showed. I also remember when she let the children make tiles, yes from the clay, painted them, fired them and layed a floor for Mother's greenhouse. It is still there, 30+ years later. Mother did the Unicorn in Captivity and the children did animals all around. Perfection, from the adult perspective was not an issue. She brought her four year old to our house to deliver a hand painted Paddington Bear to her friend, my four year old daughter. Oh, they moved into their new house just before Christmas, or was it Valentine's Day, but never mind, the cookies were baked and delivered to friends. She said, "First things first". Also, I never forget how they celebrated Christmas. Always there was a special Santa gift, note, I said "A", as in one. Once a gift was a toy make-up set, probably $8; that child is now a teacher and actress or maybe it is the daughter who is a professional dancer. One daughter, the one who is now a surgeon, wore her mother's dress from high school to her prom. Another special Christmas gift was re-made twins dolls from the Mother's childhood. These choices were not from a lack of means, but somehow they "got it" from the beginning and the rest of us were struggling to make Christmas more materialistic than it needed to be or should have been. But, there were always trips and skiis and camps and all of those things that really make life full. Guess what...one girl is a general surgeon, as I mentioned, one is a very successful professional dancer, one is a teacher and actress and the only boy is an orthopedic surgeon, but not only are they successful but they are gracious , loving and just good adults.

Oh, I forgot about the birthday plan. I think it was the 5th birthday that was a Broadway production. That was the only "big" birthday. One daughter's birthday was Dorothy and the Land of Oz. She enlisted teenaged brother and his friends, one was my son, to be the characters. The yellow brick road was on the driveway for years but none of those who participated will ever forget it. Note the Blog, "Give Them Good Memories".

So, young parents out there, look closely at the Beavers. They would say that they aren't perfect but I would say, "Pretty close to it from my perspective".