Monday, December 7, 2009

????

So, is anyone reading my "words of wisdom"? Anybody out there?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Nursing homes

I know its difficult. You don't know what to say to these people who seem almost dead or comatose. They have food on their clothes, or worse. It makes everyone think, "Dear, God, please don't let me end up like this", but it happens. This is a part of life. Often the body outlasts the mind or vice versa. The trick is to get both of them to wear out at the same time. Just doesn't happen often. I am going to say it now, as my mother did once. Don't ever feel badly if I should be found dead somewhere unexpectedly. My mother had a friend who died sweeping the patio at her house. Mother thought that was great. My mother wasn't so lucky, she lingered and suffered a long time, not what anyone of us would want. So when someone dies after 80, without pain, be grateful, consider it a gift. I would sign up for that. Visiting the nursing home makes you aware of how bad life can be and this is in a place where they are taken care of, clean, warm, well fed and medicine available. I know, that can be worse but in our society maybe we make it too good. I have a living will, but for my children and friends, don't make me suffer to live any longer than necessary. If there is not any joy left in living, let me go as comfortably as possible. If I don't want to eat or drink, please don't make me. And while I am at it, visit the friends and family that you know in the nursing home. They get blue and are lonely. Take them for a drive sometime if it is feasible. Take a magazine or a bag of candy or anything that is not readily available and pleasant. I see people who are at the nursing home and don't have anyone to visit. I wonder if they have families....
Oh, and make my room pretty...not with just nursing home stuff or your old junk.

College

When children are getting ready to leave home to go to college, my observation is that they will do things to distance themselves from parents and family. Watch and see if you see a pattern. It makes sense, by the time they leave, there is only relief that they are gone. It is somewhat like carrying a child for 9 months; when the nine months is up and there is only one way out of this, you don't hesitate to go through whatever it takes to "get shed" of them, or at least get them outside of you. Now, I am wondering if this is somewhat of a stage that children go through with their parents as they get older. Food for thought?

Don't ever burn bridges

Maybe this isn't the best way to say it but I am reminded how things will come back to haunt you...well, maybe that isn't the best way to say it either....hmmmm....This is what happened: There was a kid in my children's class in elementary school whom none of the children liked. He did wild crazy things like when he entered some one's home once, he just ran from one end to the other. I had a rule that if we had a birthday party with children from school, all were invited, including this ???? "difficult" child. Well, guess who the new doctor is at the local clinic. You got it, handsome, obviously intelligent, beautiful family, highly respected position. Don't ever burn any bridges. Or don't ever say anything to someone that you will be embarrassed if they turn up as parents to one of your children's fiance. These things have a way of coming back around. Consider yourself warned. By the way, I'm really proud of Dr. .........., kind of reminds me of the prodigal son parable.