wrinkles

Just a suggestion for you young mothers. I have never heard anyone else mention this, but I am convinced that the dreaded upper lip lines are produced by sleeping on your side or stomach. Push on your face from either side and watch what happens to your upper lip. Try this for 8 hours out of 24 and see what happens. I wasn't forewarned, thought that it was from smoking or puckering/pursing ones mouth. I don't do either but I sure did enjoy snuggling up with that soft pillow. They certainly are not pretty, you don't want them, so try learning to sleep on your back. Now, I have contributed something to the beauty of the world.

Reuse, recycle and repurpose

Do all of these things in your home. Your children will learn and they won't mind, in fact it can be fun. Those little symbols on the bottom of containers are kinda fun. It is a habit that we all need to cultivate and when children grow up with this, they will more than likely do it for life. It's a way of life...

Manners

Just like so many other things in life, if you set an example, they will learn. If you smile and say please and thank you, they will learn. Use a pleasant tone in your voice and they will learn that also. Have you known families who have a tone in their voice which they just use with the family and it isn't very pleasant? I have and I so didn't want that to happen in our house. When you are in the middle of raising a family it seems like forever but it really does go by quickly. The time, the chance is gone then. So, try to think of this every day. I know it is difficult but the discipline will pay off for the rest of your life.

The Beavers

I have told my children, if you want to see a model for parenting, look at the Beavers. I went to school with the father and loved the mother from the first time that I met her. Three of our four children have been really good friends for their whole lives, still are.

But, what I had observed in this very close and loving and achieving family is an attitude of total acceptance. I can recall several examples that were so extreme, I had to chuckle. One was when one of the girls had dyed her hair when a teenager and her mother said how cute she thought that it was. I cringed when my daughter put color on her naturally beautiful hair. Maybe Beaver Mother did also but it never showed. I also remember when she let the children make tiles, yes from the clay, painted them, fired them and layed a floor for Mother's greenhouse. It is still there, 30+ years later. Mother did the Unicorn in Captivity and the children did animals all around. Perfection, from the adult perspective was not an issue. She brought her four year old to our house to deliver a hand painted Paddington Bear to her friend, my four year old daughter. Oh, they moved into their new house just before Christmas, or was it Valentine's Day, but never mind, the cookies were baked and delivered to friends. She said, "First things first". Also, I never forget how they celebrated Christmas. Always there was a special Santa gift, note, I said "A", as in one. Once a gift was a toy make-up set, probably $8; that child is now a teacher and actress or maybe it is the daughter who is a professional dancer. One daughter, the one who is now a surgeon, wore her mother's dress from high school to her prom. Another special Christmas gift was re-made twins dolls from the Mother's childhood. These choices were not from a lack of means, but somehow they "got it" from the beginning and the rest of us were struggling to make Christmas more materialistic than it needed to be or should have been. But, there were always trips and skiis and camps and all of those things that really make life full. Guess what...one girl is a general surgeon, as I mentioned, one is a very successful professional dancer, one is a teacher and actress and the only boy is an orthopedic surgeon, but not only are they successful but they are gracious , loving and just good adults.

Oh, I forgot about the birthday plan. I think it was the 5th birthday that was a Broadway production. That was the only "big" birthday. One daughter's birthday was Dorothy and the Land of Oz. She enlisted teenaged brother and his friends, one was my son, to be the characters. The yellow brick road was on the driveway for years but none of those who participated will ever forget it. Note the Blog, "Give Them Good Memories".

So, young parents out there, look closely at the Beavers. They would say that they aren't perfect but I would say, "Pretty close to it from my perspective".

Santa

I just read a blog about "The Elf on the Shelf" and was stunned that a parent would tell their child that there is no Santa Claus. I still believe in Santa Claus, he/she is the spirit of love and giving that we find all over the world, especially for children. It started a long time ago with Kris Kringle, in Germany, as I remember, but when he died, others had to take up the cause and continue the spirit. Right, he doesn't fly through the air in a sleigh but all of us can be Santa to others. It is one of the greatest joys of the season.

Oh, the Elf on the Shelf.... Apparently he has been around for a long time but I only learned about him a couple of years ago when my son and his wife had one for their three boys. Apparently it was magic, which it is supposed to be, but in ways they hadn't anticipated. They felt like they were being watched by Santa's helper, which is true, Santa's helper is Mom and Dad but the elf makes it a lot of fun apparently. He shows up in different places each morning and gets into all sorts of mischief over night. As your older child catches on, let him/her participate in the activity for the younger children. It teaches about love and laughter and family and gives them GOOD MEMORIES ( read earlier post on good memories).

toys of history

Lauren: her favorite was probably books
Todd: his favorite was probably the green machine
Preston: definitely Capsula, he would play with it every day when he came home from school
Val: I think that I remember her playing with a toy that you could make clothes with fabric on a doll. There was an overlay..hard to explain
Liz: art supplies
John: knights and castle (may be prejudiced since I gave them to him)
Mason: football players, her would make sounds like the cheering crowd(again, discount Granny's prejudice)
Sam: bike or bow and arrows
Carson: trains and anything with wheels
Tully: Mr. Cow
These are my best guesses for favorites, correct me if I am wrong..

Toys, toys, toys

Ok, parents and grandparents...we buy all of these toys for ourselves and the joy we feel when we see them opened. We want a big production and a lot of drama when they discover what Santa brought. From my perspective, it isn't good for the children. What really lasts and is played with over and over are good basics. A really nice table and chairs that will stand up through years of use and several children. They can play with their toys one it, have a snack or color pictures for a long time. It will probably pass through the family for cousins etc. and might even make it to the next generation. (Happens before you know it!) Children need toys which give them an environment for creative play. Most children don't play with many of their toys but parents keep them anyway. Little boys love trucks and cars and trains and things that enable them to play with them creating all sorts of imaginary scenes. Matchbox cars are fabulous and a little spot of dirt or sand will make them happy. Speaking of sand....I used to love playing in a sand box, until I was pretty big. Loved the damp kind of sand that could make great cakes out of inverted containers. Find a way to cover it so the animals don't use it but buy the right kind of sand. Don't get that stuff that won't make roads and cakes. I know someone who has a large bucket of sand on her porch for the children to play in, and they do.

Let me just list some of my favorite toys for children:
Books, cars, trains, real looking baby dolls, dolls that can be dressed later when they are learning to sew and knit, house stuff like kitchens, pans, dishes and ironing boards, blocks, particularly the nesting kind. For some children construction stuff like Capsula or legos. Can't remember all of the names of these kits that enable children to make something. Great for following directions. What about puzzles or games, the kind that they play together. I'm not going to get into the video stuff...well, Wii can be good for the family together.
I bought Madame Alexander dolls for my girls when they were $9 and we had quite a collection. There was a shelf in my older daughters room that was filled. Once, when she was older, I said to her that she never played with them. She said, "What do you mean, I would imagine myself being each of those characters as I was falling asleep at night". There were dolls from history, characters from stories and from foreign lands. I got tears in my eyes.
Of course good riding toys are great. Don't rush the bike, a tricycle can't be beat. Apparently a skooter is good training for balance and preparation for riding a two wheeler. Forget the training wheels, wait until they can balance. Big wheels are probably the best all time riding toy, next to bikes. I have been called Granny Bikes because I have two big wheels and a green machine and two bikes at my house. Of course, I have the 6th grandson on the way. Buy these things at garage sales if they are not worn out, most will be.
If you have a child interested in music, do anything that you can to encourage it, but consider getting an inexpensive "real" instrument.
As they get older, sports equipment and finally, travel can be the best for their development.
This is getting to be longer than I intended but do give the gift choices some consideration. Children are overwhelmed by so much and it is a mess to keep up with. Think basics and things that will encourage growth. Good luck...happy holidays...early

Just gotta do it

Sometimes life is difficult but when you put most of our lives in the world perspective, we have it pretty good. When things in your life are difficult and being a parent is difficult much of the time, try to remember this. Once when I complained to my mother about how much I hated to go to the grocery and put things away, she said to me with a very straight face, "Be glad that you can buy groceries". There was a time when she couldn't. I remember once as an adult, recalling a little girl who broke the leg of my favorite doll and how I would never forget how sad I was. My mother told me that she had kept the child for the week and at the end of the week, she had enough money to buy some chicken. We had eaten potato soup all week...but she always made great potato soup.
Sometimes you think that life isn't fair but sometimes, you just have to buck up and do the right thing. Being up at night with a child can be the most trying. I remember having to get up early with my youngest child and just rocking her and telling myself how lucky I was to have that quiet time with my child and how quickly those times would be gone...she was my fourth. Try to see the brighter side of any situation.
Right now I am dealing with an elderly and ill person. But, thank goodness for the help that is available. Recalling about a year ago and the discussion about Depends, my Person was resisting but I told him about another friend who responded with, "Isn't it wonderful that these things are available". He got the message. Also, when I go to the nursing home, I think about how small my corner of the universe is and how you don't have to be very high above the earth to not see people. It is my job to do what I can in my little place of the earth and not to worry about much else, just do my job. It isn't always easy but I think that there has to be a lot of talking to oneself in these situations to survive it all without damage to ourselves.

Raising children is one of the great joys of life but also difficult at many times. Most parents are tired. I don't think that I could have worked and raised a family like so many women do today. Maybe there are some words of encouragement that could be offered from some of you at this point.

This post is rambling, but the message that I want to share is also a message to myself today, life is best approached with a positive attitude. Look for the bright side of everything. Winston Churchill said, "I'm an optimist, I figure that I might as well be".