When I was first a parent, I felt that I was going to mold these children into the people that I chose they would be. In fact, I had the responsibility to do so. Now, as a grandparent, I see this next generation of children and wonder who they will become. I think that so much of the raw material is present and we only have to keep them safe and love them into whom they are destined to become. Oversimplification, perhaps, but look at each situation as whether the decision makes them safe and loved. It's a good beginning point. It also frees you as parents to delight in the adventure of their emerging into adults.